“The world will test you, but it cannot break a man who has already decided.” – Thor Uram
A man who walks through life unsure of his values, unprepared for conflict, having not convened with his demons, will find himself at the mercy of chaos. But a man who takes the time to decide—truly decide—how he will act, who he will be, and what he will stand for, walks with a steadiness that no storm can shake.
These are the Five Unreasonably Difficult Questions Every Man Must Answer. They require a commitment to deep self-work. This is not a process you rush. It is a ritual, an act of emotional and mental fortification. Here, we’ll explore how you can approach this journey with discipline, thoughtfulness, and ironclad resolve.
#1 – Does God Exist?
At some point in your life, you will consider this first, very weighted question. Did some otherworldly force create us all ? Did it also shape all that is? Or does everything exist, simply because… well, because it does?
This is arguably the most profound question any man can conceive, and we have evolution to thank for this. When we were just mindless monkeys we carried no curse of self-awareness. Knowing that we are alive is the primary reason our brains now behave like such bullies. They don’t want us to consider things like something larger than ourselves may be responsible for everything that exists, and may deserve our praise.
Tough shit. This is what it means to be a human being. You don’t have to believe in a supernatural author, but if you don’t face this burning question with truth and honesty you can never fully aspire to any kind of greatness.
#2 – Can you kill someone?
It’s date night with the wife. You’re walking through a dark parking lot behind the movie theater, distracted by the conversation you’re gleefully having about the film. Suddenly, a man with a gun steps out in front of you…
This is a decision that demands rapid response, steely control and survival. Can you commit to physically and perhaps even violently defending yourself? Will you do everything you can to de-escalate, no matter how bad it goes? Will you act as a human shield so others can get away?
#3 – What principles are nonnegotiable?
A classic business trip. You’re at the bar, alone now. The festivities and networking opps of the day have all fizzled off into the ether. You’re tired. Your guard is down. Maybe you’re even a little buzzed. A very attractive woman you remember connecting eyes with at one of the speaking panels comes your way, martini in hand…
A man without principles is a man adrift. What values will anchor you? Honor? Integrity? Justice? Fidelity? However you decide, your principles must be non-negotiable, forming the backbone of every choice you make. Will you succumb to pressure and influence? Give in? Are you willing to lie, cheat and steal? Just how far are you willing to go? Where is the line?
#4 – Is love even real?
Yes, a permanent relationship would be nice, but are you ready? Will you ever be? There have been others, for sure. Some were clearly mistakes. Others made you wonder if this could actually happen. But THIS person. This one feels somehow… different…
From partners to friends to colleagues, the people in your life shape who you become. Most will remain at the periphery. A few will find their way into your inner circle, and you will allow them. On occasion, one or two will begin to test the soft skin of your inner core, triggering a cascade of emotions. Is this person the one? Can you tell yourself that you are absolutely in love with this person, and that you are ready to commit to them and no one else for the rest of your life?
#5 – What will you allow to emerge when you fail?
You dug in your heels and went for it. Your idea was unique, and you could think of no one other than yourself more qualified to pull this off. All you had to do was keep going, so you did. But it flopped. It crashed hard. And the “I told ya so” asshats are lining up at the door…
Is failure something everyone eventually encounters? Or do you think most people who say that are already predisposed to losing. When you actually come face to face with failure that gets pinned on you, what emotions will you show? What will you say when others keep digging for details? Who will you ultimately blame? Are you the type of person who can actually coast through this and learn? Can this really be viewed as some kind of twisted gift?
The Decision-Making Ritual
To approach these decisions with the gravity they deserve, you must adopt a ritual of self-work and meditative clarity. The RIP method—Recognize, Interrupt, Pivot—provides a powerful framework for this process. Here’s how you can use it to come to these conclusions:
1. Recognize: Confront the Question
Set aside a dedicated time for this work, free from distractions. Sit in a quiet space with a journal and a pen. Begin by writing down the decision you’re addressing. For example: “How will I respond to a physical threat?”
Allow yourself to sit with the weight of the question. What fears or doubts arise? What strengths do you feel called to summon? Recognize the complexity of the decision without judgment.
2. Interrupt: Break Through the Noise
Emotional clarity comes when you silence the noise of insecurity, societal expectations, and fear. Take three deep breaths, inhaling through your nose for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for six. Let each exhale release tension and uncertainty.
Ask yourself: What do I truly believe? What aligns with my core values? This is not a time for outside influences; it is a time to listen to your inner voice.
3. Pivot: Commit to a Course of Action
Once clarity emerges, pivot from contemplation to decision. Write down your answer as a definitive statement. For example: “In the face of physical harm, I will first seek to de-escalate, but if necessary, I will defend myself and those around me with my life.”
Repeat this process for each of the five decisions. With each, take your time. This is not a task to be rushed but a ritual to be honored.
Guard Your Final Decisions Like Gold!
Once you’ve solidified these decisions, revisit them regularly. Reflect on whether they still align with your values and experiences. Over time, these choices will become second nature, freeing you from unnecessary stress and indecision.
Emotional regulation is not merely about managing your feelings in the moment. It is about walking through life with confidence and clarity, knowing that you have already done the hard work of deciding who you are and how you will act.
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